Opinion: Internet access: denied

Posted on 30 Nov 2009 at 17:05

 

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The internet has existed for 40 years, believe it or not.

That's not strictly true, but the first ever email containing meaningful data was sent 40 years ago, so it's nearly correct. Today the internet is plumbed into almost every home in the UK and we're all logged on for more hours than we'd probably like to admit. Apart from me. For some time now, I've been without an internet connection and it's been a surprising experience.

At Computer Shopper, we have meetings where we jot down ideas we think could spawn an interesting article. One of these ideas was for some unfortunate journalist to live without an internet connection for a month. We dismissed this idea for several reasons: it's been done (badly) before by other magazines and newspapers, it's unlikely to draw any unusual conclusions, and no-one wanted to live without an internet connection for more than half an hour. We fired the person who thought up that idea.

And then I moved house and found myself disconnected from the net.

Broadband on the run

I knew before I moved that my broadband options would be limited, particularly in the early days. I smugly prepared by buying a mobile broadband USB dongle. I would, in theory, be able to pick up email and do some light web browsing while waiting for BT to enable the phone line. Then it would be a matter of waiting for a broadband provider to enable an ADSL service. Only then would life resume as normal.

Having lived in London for nearly 20 years, I'd become complacent about mobile phone coverage and cable TV and internet provision. I now live in the countryside, miles from the facilities I'm used to, which means that mobile phones don't work very well, cable is not available, and my local telephone exchange is not local loop unbundled (LLU). I must buy a slow and expensive ADSL service, in contrast to the fast, cheap services to which anyone who lives even slightly near a town can subscribe. I had inadvertently become the subject of an internet deprivation experiment.

My colleagues came up with some resourceful solutions. "Just use a mobile broadband dongle," said Jim. "I can't get a signal," I sulked. "You need one of those new Femtocell devices. Who are you with?" asked David. "Vodafone," I replied. "Great, I've got a Vodafone Femtocell device," he offered.

Femtocell devices act like a personal mobile phone mast, providing a strong signal. They channel phone conversations over the internet using your broadband connection. "Won't I need an internet connection?" I asked. "Oh yeah. Loser!" was the reply. "Try dial-up," someone smirked. "I don't have a phone line," I snapped.

For the next three months, I prayed to and swore at my mobile broadband device, trying to coax even the slowest signal into existence. It was all to little avail and in the end I gave up. Even when the BT landline was activated, I had lost the will to contemplate dialling up.

The landline connection was, in itself, more exciting than I could have predicted. After weeks of surviving with a signal-less mobile phone, it was like being the only living human in a post-apocalyptic world who, after 20 years of wandering, finds a thriving (largely female) colony of healthy and attractive people milling around in a friendly and accommodating fashion.

The lack of internet access had a serious impact on my family's life. It was hard to locate the nearest GP, for example. Had I needed other support, perhaps in the form of childcare, then I would have had to visit the local library - which I would have needed to locate by going online. Ah... Without the internet, even finding local takeaways was hard, although that turned out to be because there aren't any in my area.