Raves

Posted on 23 May 2006 at 15:57

 

Gallery

Thanks to Microsoft, Mel Croucher could soon control his PC by tapping his toes.

Despite my advanced age and retarded lifestyle, I am perfectly capable of driving my motor car while tuning the radio, as I unwrap a Snickers bar, take a phone call and scratch my arse, all at the same time. It's a gift, I know, and it's probably genetic. My mum was a good multitasker in her day. She could do all the above while adjusting her suspenders and playing the accordion, too. Which brings me to computer controls.

During the five decades in which I have been wrestling with computers, I have used all sorts of devices for controlling these willing but mindless electronic beasts. By far the most advanced was a tongue-touch keypad from New Abilities Systems in Palo Alto, which consisted of a nine-button unit and a radio transmitter that fitted in the roof of my mouth. It worked like a dream.

I also liked a device called the HeadMouse, from Origin Instruments, which used an infrared beam on top of the monitor to track a target glued to my brow. The cursor was controlled by head movements and commands were issued by holding still for a second. Then, of course, there have been numerous voice-recognition systems, most of which seemed to obey my commands only if I talked like Dustin Hoffman with a broken jaw, whereas my natural voice is a cross between Jack Nicholson and Prince Charles.

PEDAL POWER

But the control device that has always struck me as the most idiotic is definitely the computer mouse. Even today's cordless optical rodents force me to take my hands off the keyboard every few seconds, interrupt my flow and displace the carefully placed mess on my desk. Soon, however, I will be able to multitask at my desk just as well as I can in my car, and for the same reason. Foot pedals. That's right, foot pedals. Let's hear it for toe-tapping, heel-clicking, foot-stomping pedal-filia. And it's all thanks to Microsoft, which has revealed the Step User Interface at its Mission Control in Redmond.

The device currently uses one of those entertainment dance pads that you wire up to karaoke machines, but it's early days yet. I am sure miniaturised motion sensors can be fitted into attractive ankle bracelets, like those worn by hookers and criminals under curfew. And I want one. The prospect of physically booting spam emails in the guts is very attractive indeed, and so is playing intimate footsie under the table with Photoshop.

This will be even more rewarding than controlling my car, and I'm sure foot pedals will provide a subtle and instinctive alternative for issuing computer commands. I foresee sentient electronic slippers doing everything that a mouse can do, and I also predict treadle shoes that not only free up your hands when clicking and pointing, but also generate enough juice to power the computer itself. I can hardly wait to make better use of my right hand when I boot up in the future.

Author: Mel Croucher