The season for ho, ho, ho-rrible Christmas jumpers is almost upon us, so peruse our pick of the best and worst Xmas jumpers
The best Christmas jumpers are often the worst. It’s no surprise that the ugly Christmas sweater competition has become such a staple of homes and offices across the country during the festive period; sure, a classy cardigan is perfectly fine, but who doesn’t love to shock friends, colleagues and strangers with an outlandish, garish and frankly offensive item of Christmas clothing?
This year, you don’t need to spend hours hunting for the perfect Christmas jumper to ruin the holiday season for everyone else. We’ve spent quite a bit of time hunting down the most hideous jumper we could find – and then scouted out a few saner options just for good measure. After all, not everyone enjoys drawing attention to themselves.
Without further ado, here’s our pick of the best Christmas jumpers to buy.
1. Idgreatim Unisex Ugly Christmas Jumper: Ugliest Christmas jumper
Price: From £26 | Buy now from Amazon
Let’s be honest: This is a generically hideous Christmas jumper from a little-known brand on Amazon. But my gosh, just look at it. Such is the intensity of the all-out assault on your eyes that it’s quite hard to stare at this particular jumper for longer than a few seconds at a time. We’re particularly fond of the fact that were it not for the hats, baubles and Clipart holly, this jumper wouldn’t be even remotely Christmassy. It would just be kittens, riding pizza, in space. And that, ladies and gents, is what ugly Christmas jumpers are all about. If this one doesn’t appeal – and why would it – there are a huge number of alternatives available.
Key details – Fabric: Something itchy, no doubt; Sizes available: None that will fit you; Colour options: Do kittens count as colours?
2. Batch1 Festive and Fierce Christmas Jumper: Best Children’s Christmas Jumper
Price: £26 | Buy now from Not on the High StreetThere’s no point engaging in the Christmas jumper tradition unless you get the whole family involved, so you’ll need something fun and festive for the tykes to wear. This jumper from Batch1 is cute, colourful, Christmassy and brimming with Gen-Z appropriate sass, which should hopefully win over any cynical youngsters who are too cool for the more traditional seasonal fare.
Besides looking cool, this jumper is also nicely soft, well-designed and printed and environmentally conscious, with all Batch1’s clothes being made to order and produced using eco-friendly inks. So if you’re looking to get your youngsters a quality Christmas garment that will last (and one that will live up to the next generation’s impressive ethical standards), look no further than the tiger emblazoned option above.
Key details – Fabric: 80% cotton / 20% polyester; Sizes available: 3-4 yrs, 5-6yrs, 7-8yrs, 9-11yrs, 12-13yrs; Colour options: White, Pink
3. Numskull Official Star Wars Boba Fett Jumper: Nerdiest Christmas jumper
Price: From £10 | Buy now from Amazon
We may not be getting a new season of The Mandalorian in our collective stockings this year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still show your love for the galaxy far, far away. And how best to show said love? With some cheesy Christmas attire.
Ahead of the highly anticipated The Mandalorian spin-off series, The Book of Boba Fett, why not gift yourself or the other Star Wars nut in your life a thoroughly Cheddary Boba Fett-themed Christmas jumper? This stunning piece of knitwear imitates the iconic armour worn by everyone’s favourite bounty hunter and comes emblazoned with images of Slave I, Boba’s Mandalorian helmet, his EE-3 carbine rifle, his wheat-sheaf crest and the Mandalorian crest.
It’s not going to win any ugly Christmas jumper competitions (although it might come runner-up), but this cosy sweater is the best way to wear your nerd credentials on your sleeve, chest, and back this Christmas.
Key details – Fabric: 100% acrylic; Sizes available: XXS – 5XL; Colour options: None
4. Illuminated Apparel Interactive Glow Christmas Tree Jumper: Best glow-in-the-dark Christmas jumper
Price: £30 | Buy now from Not on the High Street
This is a great novelty jumper. It’s printed with a luminescent ink, which you can draw on using the bundled glow torch. When the glow effect fades after about five minutes, you just start all over again. It’s a great way of becoming the centre of attention at the Christmas party or family get-together, although be warned that everyone will want to draw on you. You can wash it, but don’t go above 30°C and make sure you turn it inside out first.
Key specs – Fabric: 100% cotton; Sizes available: S, M, L, XL; Colour options: One
5. FANGJIN Chunky Knit Turtleneck: Best cosy women’s Christmas jumper
Price: From £28 | Buy now from Amazon
When the weather outside is frightful, there are few things as delightful as sinking into the cosy depths of an oversized jumper. This chunky knit turtleneck is soft and loose, with oversized sleeves that can easily be bunched up around your hands, making it the perfect counter against a cold winter’s night. There are several colours available, but if you ask us, this blocked red, white and black option is the most festive – like a modernist take on Santa’s classic getup.
Key details – Fabric: 100% acrylic; Sizes available: S, M, L, XL; Colour options: Black, Green, Red, Green/White/Grey, Red/White/Black
6. Reynisfjall Jacquard Nordic Fairisle: Best traditional men’s Christmas jumper
Price: From £20 | Buy now from Amazon
For that classic, Christmas jumper look, nothing quite jingles the bell like a Nordic-style knit. The Fairisle design offers a healthy dose of holiday cheer with trees, snowflakes and reindeer, while the ribbed hemline and cuffs will keep that winter chill from creeping in where it’s not wanted.
Soft and stretchy, this jumper is equally suited to slipping over office wear for the work Christmas do, or for lounging around at home, picking your way through a mountain of chocolates. There are only two colour choices for this exact style– the Oxblood number pictured above and the very wintery Navy option – but both hit the mark for that classic Christmas aesthetic.
Key details – Fabric: 100% acrylic; Sizes available: S, M, L, XL, 2XL; Colour options: Navy, Oxblood