Ten of the worst - or should that be best worst - hardware box shots ever committed to cardboard
If you’re thinking about building a PC from scratch, the chances are that you’ll be doing most of your shopping online. The humble bricks-and-mortar computer shop has stepped aside for the likes of Ebuyer, Scan and Amazon, who can offer lower prices and the convenience of next day delivery.
This has changed the way companies box their products too – because people want to see the kit they’ll be buying, not the box it comes in, there’s no need for bright colours, fantasy creatures and voluptuous women to be adorned across the boxes of the latest graphics card. That was a bygone age, one we’re celebrating with a look back at some of the best (by which we may very well mean worst) box art around.
10. SAPPHIRE – 9700 ATLANTIS PRO
The Radeon 9700 was one of ATI’s earliest success stories, although we’re fairly sure it’s because it was stonkingly powerful, not because Poseidon, King of the Sea, commanded gamers to buy one. His crown, clearly stolen from the Statue of Liberty, seems an oddly prescient touch in retrospect.
Tremble before Poseidon – just don’t get your graphics card wet
9. SOLTEK GEFORCE 4 TI4600
Now-defunct graphics manufacturer Soltek went all out with the box for its GeForce 4 GPUs – not only does she have one of the most terrifying 1000-yard stares we’ve ever seen, but her sword has three different parts to impale you with. It’s printed on metallic card and it’s even embossed, plus it earns bonus points for the engrish software sticker. Although in fairness, she is at least covered up, which is more than can be said for some of our later entries.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
8. 3DFX VOODOO 5 5500 PCI
3DFX pioneered SLI (the first time around) but it wasn’t above slapping terrifying monsters on its graphics card boxes to show just how powerful its cards were – this horrendous zombie/alien hybrid is oddly prophetic, embracing the undead bandwagon a full 15 years before it ever really got going.
The eyes… they’re following me around the room!