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Windows 93 released at last!

Barry Collins
9 Mar 2015
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The latest version of "Windows" arrives 22 years late, and there are no live tiles in sight

Remember the days of defragging hard disks, endless sessions of Solitaire and a Blue Screen of Death every 13 minutes? A brilliant new "Windows 93" emulator relives the not-so-glorious days of computing. The spoof project is a browser-based version of an operating system that bears more than a passing resemblance to Windows 95.

It includes many of the features - good and mainly bad - that anyone who lived through that largely painful era of computing may have consigned to their Recycle Bin. There is, for example, a primitive web browser (Cat Explorer) that has bookmarks folders stuffed with the kind of chintzy, homebrew websites that used to clutter up the Yahoo search rankings in the mid-1990s. 

There's Piskel, a return to the days of pixel-by-pixel drawing, that would allow you to create the kind of artwork often found adorning the walls of mid-1990s computer classrooms (once you had raggedly torn off the perforated hole-punched edges of the paper used to feed the dot-matrix printer, of course).

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There's a selection of games, including a smashing pastiche of Castle Wolfenstein and our personal favourite, the ASCII-based Robby, a crackingly well-written game where you play a bungling bank robber. A fully working version of Solitaire is a given. 

Being the mid-90s, there is naturally a selection of one-click-to-run viruses that will bring your Windows 93 system to its knees. You could try running the Dr Marburg anti-virus software to get shot of them, but we suspect you won't get very far. 

There's plenty to explore in this well-devised spoof, which Microsoft's lawyers are probably attempting to tear down as we type. There are also a few things in there that might be considered a smidgen NSFW, so tread with caution if you're "booting" this up at work. It will crash any minute now, anyway, so the chances of the boss walking past and catching a glimpse are minimal... 

 

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