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Windows 93 released at last!

The latest version of "Windows" arrives 22 years late, and there are no live tiles in sight

Remember the days of defragging hard disks, endless sessions of Solitaire and a Blue Screen of Death every 13 minutes? A brilliant new “Windows 93” emulator relives the not-so-glorious days of computing. The spoof project is a browser-based version of an operating system that bears more than a passing resemblance to Windows 95.

It includes many of the features – good and mainly bad – that anyone who lived through that largely painful era of computing may have consigned to their Recycle Bin. There is, for example, a primitive web browser (Cat Explorer) that has bookmarks folders stuffed with the kind of chintzy, homebrew websites that used to clutter up the Yahoo search rankings in the mid-1990s. 

There’s Piskel, a return to the days of pixel-by-pixel drawing, that would allow you to create the kind of artwork often found adorning the walls of mid-1990s computer classrooms (once you had raggedly torn off the perforated hole-punched edges of the paper used to feed the dot-matrix printer, of course).

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There’s a selection of games, including a smashing pastiche of Castle Wolfenstein and our personal favourite, the ASCII-based Robby, a crackingly well-written game where you play a bungling bank robber. A fully working version of Solitaire is a given. 

Being the mid-90s, there is naturally a selection of one-click-to-run viruses that will bring your Windows 93 system to its knees. You could try running the Dr Marburg anti-virus software to get shot of them, but we suspect you won’t get very far. 

There’s plenty to explore in this well-devised spoof, which Microsoft’s lawyers are probably attempting to tear down as we type. There are also a few things in there that might be considered a smidgen NSFW, so tread with caution if you’re “booting” this up at work. It will crash any minute now, anyway, so the chances of the boss walking past and catching a glimpse are minimal… 


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